Oh no. Oh no no no no no.
I’m so sorry that you clicked on this article, because I’m assuming it means you’re a DM with a problem player at your table.
My sincerest condolences. That’s a bit of a pickle to be in.
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Now, there’s no concrete definition of “problem player” for D&D tables, but I’m sure that experienced D&D players have an idea of what I’m getting at, and may have even had a player from their past come to mind upon seeing this headline.
They’re the guy (because, let’s face it, they’re a guy at least 99% of the time) who insists on breaking from the party to “go off on their own.”
They’re the ones who will try to steal from their party members during the night, or will cast fireball in the middle of camp “just for shits and giggles.” They’re late, they’re rude, they’re completely unaware that D&D is about collaborate story-telling, they argue with the DM, they try to pull some downright creepy shit on NPCs (or, gods-forbid, other PCs), and they definitely see themselves as the main character of the campaign.
It could be any combination of the above, or some even worse examples (which we would love to hear about in the comments), but when there’s a problem player, it’s pretty obvious.
Now, most people become DMs because they just want to have some fun with friends. Being your table’s DM doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re the kind of person who’s good at IRL conflict dispute or confrontation — but that doesn’t matter.
As the DM, you’re the defacto leader of the group. You are the authority at the table. And it’s you’re job to deal with the problem player for the sake of the rest of your party.
Now, I’m not saying to boot the guy right off the jump; usually a problem player arises from a place where they genuinely think what they’re doing is funny and enjoyed by everyone at the table. So your first order of business is checking in with the other members to see if they’re being made uncomfortable/having less fun as a result of this player’s actions.
If so, you’ve got your work cut out for you, because you need to actually have a serious conversation with the guy.
Talk to them one-on-one, and let them know that both yourself and others at the table (without naming any players’ names) aren’t exactly fans of their style of play. Have examples to point to, and explain why doing these things makes the game less fun for everybody.
Now, this can go one of two ways. Either a miracle happens, and this player understands and acknowledges that he may have misread the room; that he’ll change for the better and is sorry for all the trouble. Or — and that’s a much more likely or — he’ll try to defend his actions.
He’ll say that you’re all taking things too seriously, that he’s just kidding around, that D&D is about being about to do anything without repercussions, that this is all so unfair.
The real issue with these problem players is that what they consider to be fun, or cool, or funny simply doesn’t align with the rest of the table. Tell them as much, and suggest that they find a group that better aligns with their style of play.
But make sure they know that they’re out of the group.
At that point they might come around, and apologize promising that they’ll change, but it will be too late. You can’t go back on your decision, because the bad behavior will just creep its way back in.
What’s more likely to happen is that they’ll be mad. They’ll be genuinely mad at you, and at the rest of the players, and at the world — and that’s going to suck. No one likes it when anyone is mad at them, but as the DM it’s your responsibility to subject yourself to that brief unpleasantness for the long-term sake of your table.
That’s what this all really comes down to, here. There’s no quick fix or easy out when you’ve got a problem player at the table. The real solution is the one you knew the whole time: You need to talk to them, and potentially boot them, and it’s going to suck.
But you just gotta do it.
Because what truly makes a good DM isn’t hours of prep work, having an intricately designed world, or the ability to do dozens of different voices at the drop of a hat; it’s ensuring that your table is having as enjoyable a time as possible.
Even if it might mean you need to have a difficult discussion.
But that’s just my two coppers.
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